


these thoughts are killing me

by slowmo_waitwot



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: GTA AU, M/M, also, gavin has dumb thoughts that plague his mind, thats basically the plot of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 20:25:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6208846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowmo_waitwot/pseuds/slowmo_waitwot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"..If only he knew what those dreaded thoughts were about.. Maybe he’d act differently. Regardless, he didn’t say anything else.."</p><p>In which Gavin has thoughts about what would Ryan do, and the such.</p>
            </blockquote>





	these thoughts are killing me

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday present for cutehaywood on tumblr! 
> 
>  
> 
> any requests? send them to me @ roosterwhat.tumblr.com/ask

 It’s almost always after a heist that they stumble into the apartment without a care. Gavin doesn’t even come to his apartment unless he’s hyped up on adrenaline or drunk off his ass. He thinks it’s weird to come over to Ryan’s because Michael and Geoff tease him mercilessly about it. It’s best to just not do it with his mind is somewhat clear.

 He drops himself onto the couch and Ryan squeezes himself into the small space, having to pick Gavin off the couch a bit to get comfortable. It’s heavy breaths, smiles that effortlessly appear on their faces, and the background noise of the city leaking in. It was as if there wasn’t a bag on the ground full of stolen cash. 

 Gavin closes his eyes and feels himself being pulled closer to Ryan. When he opens them, he’s staring into Ryan’s oddly blue eyes. He finds himself trying to compare the color to something he’s seen before. The ocean, the sky, the blue raspberry icee available down the street, those sneakers he saw at the mall one time. None of those really fit the certain shade of blue he was looking at. It made him mad, that he couldn’t look at them and describe them. He was sure one day he’d be able to, though, but not today, not now.

 He feels he should say something but he can’t think of anything. In replacement of words, he looks away from Ryan, and buries his face into the other’s chest. Ryan’s hand is in his hair, messing with the dirty blonde locks. It makes him smile because this huge dork, the “Vagabond of Los Santos” as some call him, is feared by so many and he could barely understand why. When he’s here, he forgets that Ryan is the one who can shot a man in the skull without flinching, without so much of a care. He forgets that Ryan changes when he has his mask one, there’s a reason they don’t work together during jobs or heists. The reason is that Ryan doesn’t like Gavin seeing him so detached, a heartless murderer.

 It’s different when they’re here because Ryan doesn’t have his mask on, and his face paint is smeared. He’s able to construct the illusion that they were normal, that they didn’t kill for money or drugs. When his illusion falls apart, it’s drinking that fogs his mind and he forgets again. 

 But that’s all besides the point. What is the point? Yeah, he must of forgotten that.

 The thing he focused on was that he was here, and despite how much he was conflicted about it, he was safe. But - in the back of his mind, he was still ultimately worried about the chance that the Ryan he saw during a heist would be the end of Gavin Free.

 A soft sigh, and he feels Ryan stop messing with his hair.

“You okay, Gav?”

 He tried to look up at the other, yet after a moment, he went back to hiding his face.

“..Gav?”

“Yeah?”

“Look at me.”

 He was hesitant to, but he did it. Looking up, he saw the man’s eyes were full of concern. He hadn’t really ever saw him like this, actually concerned for someone. He didn’t know how to react at all.

“What is it, Ryan?”

 A flash of something crossed Ryan’s face. Sadly, Gavin couldn’t make out what exactly it was.  

“You’re acting weird. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

 That was a lie. Everything was wrong, and it made Gavin’s heart hurt. Those stupid thoughts kept coming back into his mind of the ‘what if this happened’. He was pretty sick of it.

“Spill it.”

 He rose an eyebrow but the look that appeared on Ryan’s face made him kept from arguing with him.

“Just overthinking things.”

“Is that it?”

“..Yeah, yeah, that’s it.”

 Ryan nodded, and pressed a quick kiss to Gavin’s forehead. He didn’t move away after it, he stayed close to the other’s face. He felt Ryan’s breath against his cheek and it made him turn the slightest bit red.

“Don’t overthink things. If you start to, tug on my sleeve and I’ll help those thoughts go away, okay?”

 If only he knew what those dreaded thoughts were about.. Maybe he’d act differently. Regardless, he didn’t say anything else, just tugged on his sleeve and Ryan immediately started kissing him.


End file.
